Una terribile storia da condividere

[Beyond 7026]

Per chi non lo conoscesse, omegle ? una chat online anonima che semplicemente mette due persone a caso a chattare.

ora stasera mi sono ritrovato a provare la versione in cui viene proposto un tema di cui discutere. questa volta era semplicemente "voi due siete legati da una relazione".

 

ecco la storia che ne ? uscita fuori. una cosa EPICA. ? in inglese ovviamente ma leggetela, ? da morire.

 

io sono YOU, l'altro ? STRANGER

 

 

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:

You two are in a relationship. Do a role play.

 

Stranger: hey baby

 

Stranger:

 

You: i'll be the terrible father and u the little daughter

 

Stranger: ok

 

Stranger: hi dad!

 

Stranger: how was your day?

 

You: nreuibgen ogerng jraioge giofq j

 

You: i got fired

 

You: u bitch i'll fuck you now

 

You: do u agree?

 

You: my sweet princess?

 

Stranger: im calling the police

 

Stranger: *runs into my room and locks door*

 

Stranger: *grabs phone and calls police*

 

You: ok let's play hide and seek u filthy whore

 

Stranger: *MY DAD IS GOING CRAZY...HE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!!!!*

 

You: booom booom

 

You: open the dooooot

 

Stranger: you are a sick fuck lol

 

Stranger: no, its locked

 

Stranger: dad go AWAY

 

Stranger: the police is on its way

 

You: ok ill go away

 

You: but open the door please

 

Stranger: no

 

Stranger: thank you

 

Stranger: im scared

 

You: come on open it

 

Stranger: go away im crying

 

You: i'll give u a present

 

Stranger: i dont want your present

 

Stranger: you called me a whoreeee

 

You: u know daddy loves u

 

You: i was just tired and angry cos of my job

 

Stranger: im sorry

 

You: i give u 5 secs

 

Stranger: for waht

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: i u not open the door

 

You: i'll go bring my axe

 

Stranger: ok wait

 

Stranger: *unlocks door*

 

Stranger: idk what to say

 

You: oh finally

 

You: good girl

 

You: here's your present

 

Stranger: yaaaay

 

Stranger: what is it?

 

You: i bought you the last barbie

 

Stranger: the one with the pick unicorn dress????

 

Stranger: awww thanks!!!

 

You: exactly

 

You: and

 

Stranger: i love it

 

Stranger: aaaaaaand?

 

You: now that i gave u the present

 

You: what about....

 

Stranger: huh?

 

You: let's go play barbie vs the huge hulk downstairs

 

Stranger: xD

 

Stranger: wtf

 

You: u know the incredible hulk was too expensive

 

You: i had to buy the chinese one called huge hulk

 

You: but its huge indeed

 

Stranger: ok

 

Stranger: lets go play

 

You: but wait

 

You: i hear sirens

 

Stranger: ohh right, must be the popos

 

You: oh shit

 

You: ok listen to me

 

You: u go find hulk

 

You: i'll go find my axe

 

You: i'll take care of hem

 

Stranger: ok

 

Stranger: *goes downstairs to find the hulk toys*

 

Stranger: *wonders what the axe is for*

 

You: toc toc

 

You: yes?

 

You: oh it's not the police

 

You: it's FBI dear

 

You: they came with heli and tanks and stuff

 

Stranger: woah

 

You: looks like swat

 

You: i guess your hulk will have a hard time

 

Stranger: whats gonna happen?

 

Stranger: im scared

 

Stranger: and since when do the FBI people have tanks

 

If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: it's not FBI actually

 

You: lemme look closer from the window

 

You: yea

 

Stranger: what?

 

You: they're terrorist

 

You: in white

 

Stranger: jesus wholy mary

 

You: i wonder what terrorist wears white suits mmm

 

You: holy shit

 

Stranger: fashion changes

 

You: it's not terrorist

 

Stranger: what are theyyyy?

 

You: it's the army of god

 

You: white angels

 

Stranger: with tanks...

 

You: yes dear

 

You: do u think angels fight with bare hands?

 

You: dont be unrealist

 

Stranger: ok dad

 

You: so let's make a plan

 

You: u choose the first move

 

Stranger: i think we should tell them that its saturday and we have shit to do

 

You: BOOOOOOM

 

Stranger: huh??

 

Stranger: what? where?

 

You: damn they're bombing our house

 

Stranger: we gotta run!!!! *grabs barbie doll*

 

Stranger: *runs out the back door*

 

Stranger: through the backyard

 

You: wait im old i cant run too fast

 

You: BOOOOOM

 

Stranger: *screams* DAAAAAADDD!!!!

 

You: tatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata

 

Stranger: hurry up

 

You: damn i forgot my axe

 

You: how can i fight now

 

Stranger: forget the axe and lets run!!!!

 

Stranger: ill find us some other weapons

 

You: good girl

 

Stranger: ok so where are we?

 

You: we enter a mcdonalds

 

Stranger: wow.. you feed your daughter junk???

 

Stranger: thats not very parental of you

 

You: let's wait here

 

You: no god's creature would dare come into a mcdonalds

 

Stranger: for hwat?

 

Stranger: true

 

Stranger: everybody knows that

 

You: so let's plan our escape

 

You: while eating some double burger

 

Stranger: fine

 

Stranger: im glad i still have my barbie doll "3

 

Stranger: :3

 

You: im glad as well

 

You: i paid 30 bucks

 

Stranger: awww

 

Stranger: i lvoe you

 

You: so the best thing we can do my beloved one

 

You: is to find the nearest nuclaer site

 

Stranger: e.e

 

Stranger: why?

 

You: and nuke all of god's offspring

 

Stranger: but they're godlike

 

Stranger: they cant be nuked

 

Stranger: we will have to live here

 

You: and after that we'll be the rulers of the world

 

Stranger: and eat junkfood for ever and ever and ever and ever

 

You: mmm

 

You: that sounds good too

 

You: your choice then

 

You: nuke em or live her

 

Stranger: im just a kid

 

Stranger: i would not want to be near anything explosive though

 

You: holy cow

 

You: look outside

 

You: marvelous

 

Stranger: *looks*

 

Stranger: is it raining meatballs?

 

Stranger: like in that movie?

 

You: not only that

 

You: meatballs

 

You: and the police is finally here

 

You: and they're fighting against those fucking angels

 

Stranger: cool

 

Stranger: good thing i called then

 

Stranger: xD

 

You: indeed

 

Stranger: when you were trying to rape me

 

You: i was not trying to rape u

 

You: it's called parental love

 

Stranger: yes you were!!!

 

Stranger: eeeek

 

Stranger: my dads a weirdo

 

You: ok this is our chance

 

You: let's get outta here

 

You: and come back home

 

Stranger: ok

 

You: *walks home*

 

Stranger: woah

 

You: whistling

 

Stranger: the hulk is missing

 

You: who cares

 

You: i paid just 3 $ for hulk

 

You: it's barbie that matters

 

Stranger: the angels must've cast it to hell

 

You: may be

 

Stranger: thanks

 

You: ok home sweet home

 

You: yay just in time

 

You: for football

 

You: OMG

 

You: sweetheart

 

Stranger: what?

 

You: be quiet

 

You: your mom is back home

 

Stranger: cool

 

Stranger: i gotta pee

 

You: she'll beat the crap out of us

 

Stranger: why?

 

Stranger: (what a weird family and day)

 

You: because hulk is missing

 

Stranger: oh right she secretly talks to him all the time

 

You: really?

 

You: didnt know that

 

Stranger: yes

 

Stranger: i heard her

 

You: what does she say

 

Stranger: she tells him weird stuff like "i got the money we will soon run away"

 

You: O.O

 

Stranger: but hulk never says anything

 

You: it cant be real

 

Stranger: i thinnk she was playing though

 

Stranger: like when i play with my barbie dolls

 

You: what money was she talking about

 

You: we have no money

 

Stranger: she says she has a stash and a map to get to it

 

Stranger: because she hid it in the desert away from us

 

Stranger: to run away

 

Stranger: but like i said shes just playing with her hulk

 

Stranger: she has an obsession with green things

 

You: oh now i see

 

You: why she always wanted me

 

You: to wear green condoms

 

Stranger: lol that made me laugh

 

Stranger: dad

 

Stranger: ?

 

You: yes dear

 

Stranger: what are condoms?

 

Stranger: xD

 

You: mmm

 

You: how to explain

 

Stranger: *sits quietly*

 

You: its that thing that angels do not need

 

You: neither your barbie

 

You: nor our dog

 

Stranger: internet?

 

You: wait a second

 

You: where the fuck is our dog

 

Stranger: i dont know

 

You: and mom?

 

Stranger: i have no idea

 

You: i have a bad feeling

 

Stranger: MOMMY!!?!?!

 

Stranger: where the fk are you?

 

You: wof wof

 

You: oh yes oh

 

You: O.O

 

Stranger: e.e''''

 

You: close your eyes darling

 

You: dont see that

 

Stranger: ok ~.~

 

You: ive found my axe

 

Stranger: what did i see though?

 

You: wait there while i chop em both

 

Stranger: no!!!! why??

 

Stranger: *grabs axe and throws it out of the window*

 

Stranger: dont kill my zoophile mom

 

Stranger: please

 

Stranger: (

 

You: BOOOOM+

 

You: it's the angels

 

You: theyre back

 

You: but wait

 

Stranger: can i hide in my room?

 

You: they were not here for us

 

You: they were here to find and punish that fucking dogfucker

 

You: ok then please come in

 

Stranger: ok... what are they gonna do to her?

 

Stranger:

 

You: her?

 

Stranger: yes

 

You: u mistake me

 

You: it's the dog theyre gonna punish

 

Stranger: ok

 

You: who cares she was just your favorite dog ever

 

You: i dont give a shit

 

Stranger: that dirt image ruined the things we had

 

Stranger: ok im gonna go in my room now

 

Stranger: im sleepy

 

You: with your barbie?

 

Stranger: yes

 

You: no give it to me

 

Stranger: ok

 

Stranger: but why?

 

Stranger: its mine now...

 

You: i dont like 2 girls in one room

 

Stranger: O_e ook

 

You: do u want me to come and tell u a story?

 

Stranger: if you want to

 

You: ok there was this macho heroic father who came back home and found his lovely but rather pita daughter...

 

Stranger: whats pita?

 

You: pain in the ass

 

Stranger: go on

 

Stranger: ok lol

 

You: and he wanted to love her but she didnt

 

You: in the end

 

Stranger: why not?

 

Stranger: this story is sad

 

You: because she was afraid of his muscles

 

Stranger: and i love you

 

You: it's not sad

 

You: they were arguing

 

You: when suddenly a monstrous being appeared

 

You: do u know what it was?

 

Stranger: *yawns* no what was it?

 

You: it was the cripple brother of the invincible hulk

 

You: he was called

 

You: the huge hulk

 

Stranger: yay *closes eyes*

 

You: he commanded a horde of:

 

You: barbies

 

You: angels

 

You: mcdonalders

 

You: policemen

 

You: and a single dog

 

Stranger: *sleeps at this point*

 

You: but nonetheless father and daughter lived happily for the rest of their life

 

Stranger: zzz

 

Stranger: (~.~)zzzzzzz

 

You: under the continuous bombing of this horde

 

You: for 100 years

 

You: oh shes asleep

 

Stranger: *snores*

 

You: wake up dear

 

You: *slaps her*

 

Stranger: ouch

 

Stranger: why?

 

Stranger: *cries*

 

You: *she wakes up and she's barbie*

 

Stranger: huh?

 

You: it's still her dream

 

Stranger: oooh

 

Stranger: yaaaay

 

Stranger: oh i have my own castle

 

Stranger: and look!

 

Stranger: there's a real unicorn there!!

 

Stranger: and its all mine!

 

Stranger: its pink

 

You: its not pink

 

You: its magenta

 

Stranger: its my dream!

 

Stranger: ok what color then?

 

Stranger: which is kinda pink

 

Stranger: dont u think?

 

You: precision in dreams is important my dear

 

Stranger: oh puhleeeze its still pink

 

You: the smallest error and we'll end up screwed

 

Stranger: lol

 

Stranger: im gonna get a tattoo

 

You: ok

 

Stranger: with a *couchs* magenta unicorn :'D

 

Stranger: coughc*

 

Stranger: coughs*

 

You: ok but u pay

 

You: barbie is rich

 

Stranger: of course

 

Stranger: yes

 

Stranger: lol

 

Stranger: ow ol

 

Stranger: lol

 

Stranger: how old are you?

 

You: 21

 

Stranger: im 20! xD

 

You: that was a nice story lol

 

Stranger: yeah

 

Stranger: a bit creepy at times

 

You: where are u from

 

Stranger: europe you?

 

You: italy

 

Stranger: im from romania

 

You: im gonna save it

 

Stranger: what?

 

You: the story XD

 

Stranger: ok

 

Stranger: im glad to be in your story

 

Stranger: well.. i gotta go now

 

Stranger: take care dad! xD

 

You: be nice girl!

 

You: never forget your barbies!

 

Stranger: you too.. and dont marry anyone like mom next time xD

 

Stranger: xD

 

You: no way

 

Stranger: bye!

 

You: ciao

 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[FABIO96 9]

Beyond...? una figata assurda :rotfl:

Troppo bella...

[carlomm73 77]

Ma non avete proprio un c.... da fare

[Fede 18]

A me ? venuto mal di testa... Non l'ho finito tutto...

[FABIO96 9]

Ma non avete proprio un c.... da fare

 

Ovvio. Un c.... Da fare pi? una valanga di compiti.

[Beyond 7026]

se ci penso a come ? uscita sta storia

[FABIO96 9]

se ci penso a come ? uscita sta storia

 

Comunque solo tu stai in chat con i rumeni anonimi alle 2 di notte...

[Beyond 7026]

voi bimbi andate a nanna alle 10 che alle storie cazzute in notturna ci penso io

[FABIO96 9]

voi bimbi andate a nanna alle 10 che alle storie cazzute in notturna ci penso io

 

Ah, certo...

E comunque:

[Fede 18]

[Beyond 7026]

mi immagino fare un minifilm di sta storia, deve essere qualcosa di unico

[Isomax89 0]

Ma non avete proprio un c.... da fare

 

*

Ed io nemmeno sapevo dell'esistenza di queste chat :rotfl:

Modificato 6 Gennaio, 2012 da Isomax89

[Illy 5560]

Citazione

tatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata

Il 6/1/2012 Alle 01:55, Beyond ha scritto:

[maxilrosso 1477]

Molto bene

[Kimimathias 3615]

Bene ma non benissimo....

[maxilrosso 1477]

Ma qualcuno l'ha letto veramente il primo messaggio?

[PheelD 3523]

Tutto molto

[maxilrosso 1477]

Interessante